Carol Mae Whittick

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A Backward Glance

We are often told that our focus should always be on our goals when we are in pursuit of our dreams and this is wise especially when first stepping forward.  

However, truthfully assessing where you have started from has enormous benefits. This weekend my brother and  I returned back to the town where I went to school and spent the majority of my formative years. This was not for a social call, we needed to make contact with friends of my mothers because her health has reached a critical condition and they need to know.  

So much had changed and much had remained the same too. The school I went to aged 5 had been demolished and new houses were being constructed in its place. I was surprised at how much not seeing that old building shook me. It was as if it never existed yet the memories of being there overwhelmed me even as I looked at the building site. My piano teachers house now seemed so small, I remembered how walking through his front door was so daunting. 
Strangely the house I grew up in  remained exactly as I remembered it. Whoever lived there had done nothing more than replace the windows. One of the boys we used to play with stilled lived across the road with his mother and looked exactly the same, just with a moustache. 

As I looked around the landmarks of my past I was filled with memories and emotion. Although there were a few cosmetic changes nothing really seemed that different. I remembered who I was walking those streets all those years ago and how somehow despite there being no recognisable external indicators of a different reality around me I dreamed of more and I knew I had to leave. 

Somehow I was being drawn away. In a few short years I had outgrown my surroundings and felt the need to explore the world.

Whatever it was I am grateful that I was compelled to step out and discover that more existed outside of this pleasant but stifling environment.  

Although this visit was for different reasons it left a deep impression on me. When pushing forward in pursuit of a dream it is easy to be frustrated by what you feel you have not achieved but even that first step away and forward is a success.  

Occasionally reviewing where you came from will show you how far you have already come.  

Love Yourself! 
Cx

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